She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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