Do vagina's smell?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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