omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize