I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize