No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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