i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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