Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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