I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize