The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize