Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize