I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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