did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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