yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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