I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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