I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize