My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize