I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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