put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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