carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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