im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
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Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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