I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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