i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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