we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize