my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize