so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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