You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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