You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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