My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize