Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I want her autograph on my taint
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize