there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize