just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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