So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize