and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
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She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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