If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize