so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
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Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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