Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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