i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize