I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
a search helicopter?!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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