yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
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Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
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its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize