bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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