he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize