Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
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so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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