I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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