were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize