she looked like the before picture.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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