I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize