btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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