I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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