i just had sex bonerless
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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