woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize