arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize